January 2016

• Housekeeping should always be outsourced.

• No one over the age of 35 is named “Tyler.”

• The extra money you pay for Q-Tips is worth it.

June 2014

• A reasonable person doesn’t even consider eating a Krispy Creme-coated bacon cheeseburger at the fair.

•  Men: Socks with sandals? Just stop it.

• You look so important crossing a busy intersection talking on your cell phone – thinks no one ever.

February 2014

• Dogs wearing costumes are never pleased with the outfit.

• However, dogs wearing Police K-9 vests are.

• For any number of reasons, men who wear pinky rings are not to be trusted.

August 2012

• Please note: a Firefighter Pet Alert posted in the window serves no purpose when your house is ablaze.

• A Speedo is OK sometimes. A “mankini” is never OK.

• Admit it. You’re on Facebook because you never got over early childhood learning activities like Show and Tell.

January 2012

‘Tis The Season . . .

• Chances are, you’re the only person who finds your holiday sweater amusing.

• Definition of Holiday Madness: Believing that your holiday sweater works for the office. The weekend. Or (gasp!) a night out.

• Leave the slip dress in the closet. Avoid putting the “ho” in office holiday party.